Q: Do girls always like assholes? A: She's just not that into you.

(via voice mail)
Dear GTG,
Is it true that girls just like assholes? I mean, if girls like assholes, then does that mean that when girls like me it's because I'm being an asshole? And, conversely, if girls don't like me, does it mean that I'm not an asshole, and that some other guy is an asshole, and that she likes him and not me because I'm not an asshole? I don't get it. Can you help?
Trevor
PS I love you

Dear Trevor,
Thanks! I'm flattered. This is the question that boys always ask about girls, and I think that the conventional wisdom holds that girls don't like assholes but really like nice guys but sometimes it just appears that they like assholes when a nice guy, like you, isn't getting any 'tang. But I'm here to challenge that notion with what might be a heartbreaking revelation: it's not that she likes assholes, it's that she's just not that into you. Sorry. I know that's hard to hear.
But let's examine the meaning of the word "asshole": according to dictionary.com, "asshole" means contemptible, stupid, horrible, irritating, detestable, or mean. None of those things are likable traits, so of course girls don't like assholes. They just don't like you, and you think that the guys they do like are assholes. But when girls like you and not some other guy, that other guy thinks you're an asshole. Am I blowing your mind yet?
Girls like confidence. And confidence, when you're feeling insecure, looks an awful lot like asshole. But it's not. And nice guys actively trying not to be assholes in order to win over the girl who likes the guy you think is an asshole not only don't finish last, they don't finish at all.
So keep your chin up. This girl won't come around, but the next one will.
Love,
GTG

Q: HPV? Moi? A: Oui.

Study: You Have HPV

Today's vocabulary word: BLOWHARD

After my first dabbling in etymology, I feel that I have a duty to share with you words that I think a) I need to use more and b) you might not have heard and should also use more.

Today's word:

Blowhard. noun. An exceptionally boastful or talkative person.

Example: Leslee Unruh, founder and president of the Abstinence Clearinghouse, is a total fucking blowhard when it comes to the unproven, insane claims of the effectiveness of abstinence-only education. She routinely touts in public how incredible her achievements are, when in fact she totally sucks.

Examples of Leslee blowharding:

"We've been very successful to chip away at the laws of Roe v. Wade in South Dakota, and we think the rest of the country should really be following us, and following the heartland," she said in a February 2006 appearance on NPR's Morning Edition. (cite)

Remember that ban? The one that was rejected by South Dakota's own voters? Thought so. Suck it, Leslee.

Q: Why is Texas so f-ed up? A: Watch this video.

Yes, friends, in Texas one could not buy any of the toys I have reviewed on this site without referring to them using veiled, innuendo-laden language of "educational models" and "personal massagers." Except for the Aneros, because apparently, under Texas law, the anus is not a sexual orifice so you can go 'n put anything ya darn well please up in there.
How's that, cowboys?

Q: What about the fucking? A: Exactly.

See today's letter in the New York Times in response to the WHO recommendation that male circumcision be used to reduce HIV transmission. The writer, an on-the-ground public health worker in South Africa, writes:
"Another worry is the fact that men should abstain from sex for at least four weeks after the [circumcision] surgery. This seems highly unlikely in the conditions I have observed, in southern Africa and elsewhere."
This woman is pointing out what I have been saying all along: interventions that rely on people not having sex in order to be effective will fail every time.
As health advocates we can't forget to ask ourselves the question: What about the fucking?

Q: I like it when my boyfriend slaps me across the face during sex. Am I normal? A: No. But right on!

Dear GTG,
I've recently discovered that I'm totally into it when my boyfriend hits me during sex. Not like punching, but more like slapping me in the face right as I'm about to come. WTF?

Love,
Devoted Reader

Dear DR,
You're definitely not normal, but so what? If you like being slapped during sex and your boyfriend likes to slap you, and nobody has any misunderstandings about how it's not appropriate for this recreational hitting to move outside the bedroom, then go forth and hit. I'm all for it. Some people like being spanked, and I don't think this is too much different. And considering how utterly vanilla getting slapped is compared to, say, this, don't give being normal or not a second thought. But just so your friends and coworkers don't get suspicious, try to avoid winding up with a black eye.

Love,
Go-To Girl

---------
Good news for sex:

All-around douchebag Dr. Eric Keroack, the guy who opposes birth control that Bush installed as head of The Office of Population Affairs to oversee the U.S.'s Title X program (that's the birth control funding program, for those of you not in public policy) resigned.